One of my new, but dear, mother runner friends suggested that The Shoe needs a name. And of course she is absolutely right! I’d smack myself in the head for not thinking of it my own self, but I really don’t need to have another injured body part.
It only make sense, as it will simplify references to The Shoe. Plus we have a decent tradition of naming things in my family, anyway. Examples:
- As far as I know, my cousin always has a name for her car.
- When I was little, my dad had a favorite throw-pillow, a cylindrical corduroy job, named Malcolm.
- When I was pregnant with Cora, I had a tumor I named Carl. (Technically, Effing Carl.)
- This past November, my brother named the hangover he had the day after we went to a bar crawl (“Crawford T. McBooze”).
I brainstormed some ideas for names for The Shoe last night. I have names in four categories: Start with S for alliteration with shoe; Start with O for alliteration with orthotic; Start with F for alliteration with foot/footwear; Names that I just find amusing.
Here are my ideas so far:
- Seamus – It’s got the syllable “shame” right in there. Like the ‘cone of shame,’ only for my foot.
- Seeley – I like that name and it’s the origin of the word “silly.”
- Shakira – That’s just funny stuff.
- Shaquille – Ditto.
- Sharona – So I could refer to is as “M M M My Sharona.” (Shoe-rona?)
- Shep – Because I feel like a Stooge.
- Estella – Doesn’t really start with S, but it’s uglier than Stella, yet I could see myself shouting “ESTELLA!” in frustration.
- Orville or Orson – Amusing names that begin with Or for alliteration with orthotic.
- Oscar – Also starts with O and, of course, has a grouchy connotation that fits with the look and feel of The Shoe.
- Fortuna – because it’s my GOOD FORTUNE to be wearing it (sarcasm load = heavy).
- Fritz or Fritzi – The Shoe just looks like it could wear one of these monikers. One thing I’m having trouble with is deciding whether I think The Shoe is a boy or a girl. Got both options covered here.
- Famke – It just means “girl,” but it sounds sexy. I like the incongruity of the sexy sound with the look of The Shoe.
- Flipper – Because I feel like I’m wearing a swim fin.
- Fin – See above.
- Dorcas – Because I look even dorkier than usual wearing The Shoe.
- Dick – Obvious, no?
- Helga – Because it’s hell having to wear this damn thing. Also, brings to mind someone sturdy, which The Shoe is.
- Murgatroyd – Simply fun to say. (Also reminds me of Snagglepuss from Hanna Barbera cartoons: “Heavens to Murgatroyd!”)
- Lorraine – I don’t know why. Just cracks me up.
What do you think? Which to you like? Do you have other suggestions? I’m hoping to settle on a name soon, so help me out!