Name That Shoe

One of my new, but dear, mother runner friends suggested that The Shoe needs a name.  And of course she is absolutely right!  I’d smack myself in the head for not thinking of it my own self, but I really don’t need to have another injured body part.

It only make sense, as it will simplify references to The Shoe.  Plus we have a decent tradition of naming things in my family, anyway.  Examples:

  • As far as I know, my cousin always has a name for her car.
  • When I was little, my dad had a favorite throw-pillow, a cylindrical corduroy job, named Malcolm.
  • When I was pregnant with Cora, I had a tumor I named Carl. (Technically, Effing Carl.)
  • This past November, my brother named the hangover he had the day after we went to a bar crawl (“Crawford T. McBooze”).

I brainstormed some ideas for names for The Shoe last night.  I have names in four categories: Start with S for alliteration with shoe; Start with O for alliteration with orthotic; Start with F for alliteration with foot/footwear; Names that I just find amusing.

Here are my ideas so far:

  • Seamus – It’s got the syllable “shame” right in there.  Like the ‘cone of shame,’ only for my foot.
  • Seeley – I like that name and it’s the origin of the word “silly.”
  • Shakira – That’s just funny stuff.
  • Shaquille – Ditto.
  • Sharona – So I could refer to is as “M M M My Sharona.”  (Shoe-rona?)
  • Shep – Because I feel like a Stooge.
  • Estella – Doesn’t really start with S, but it’s uglier than Stella, yet I could see myself shouting “ESTELLA!” in frustration.
  • Orville or Orson – Amusing names that begin with Or for alliteration with orthotic.
  • Oscar – Also starts with O and, of course, has a grouchy connotation that fits with the look and feel of The Shoe.
  • Fortuna – because it’s my GOOD FORTUNE to be wearing it (sarcasm load = heavy).
  • Fritz or Fritzi – The Shoe just looks like it could wear one of these monikers.  One thing I’m having trouble with is deciding whether I think The Shoe is a boy or a girl. Got both options covered here.
  • Famke – It just means “girl,” but it sounds sexy.  I like the incongruity of the sexy sound with the look of The Shoe.
  • Flipper – Because I feel like I’m wearing a swim fin.
  • Fin – See above.
  • Dorcas – Because I look even dorkier than usual wearing The Shoe.
  • Dick – Obvious, no?
  • Helga – Because it’s hell having to wear this damn thing.  Also, brings to mind someone sturdy, which The Shoe is.
  • Murgatroyd – Simply fun to say.  (Also reminds me of Snagglepuss from Hanna Barbera cartoons: “Heavens to Murgatroyd!”)
  • Lorraine – I don’t know why.  Just cracks me up.

What do you think?  Which to you like?  Do you have other suggestions?  I’m hoping to settle on a name soon, so help me out!


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