Accident Waiting to Happen

This post isn’t about running, per se.  But it’s about 1) stuff that happens when you’re up before everyone else because you run early, and 2) how it’s actually quite remarkable that my foot issue earlier in the year has been my only injury.  The last four digits of my phone number are 5150, which happens to be police code for ‘person who’s a danger to herself or others.’  And, as Freud said, there are no coincidences.

It started Tuesday, with a five-mile run at 5:00 AM with Julie.  I got back in time to shower and everything before another soul in my house was awake.   It was Bob’s second day of school and the day before 1) Emily’s first day and 2) Cora’s birthday.  Now I have to backtrack just a smidgen.  Earlier this summer, we got a picnic table from my mother-in-law for the backyard because I wanted it.  Bob did not.  He doesn’t like to eat alfresco.  Plus, he figured it would just be an obstacle for him when he mowed the lawn.  I hadn’t used the picnic table, so I thought I should start, since it was my idea to get it.  I decided to go out there with my nook and my coffee, and enjoy 15-20 minutes before I was going to get the kids up.   I’d planned to wake the girls earlier than they were used to getting up, in order to make the first day of school’s early rise time less shocking.

I went outside and, for about 20 glorious minutes,  enjoyed the fresh air, my coffee, and reading on my phone.  Ahhhhhh….

Then, when I attempted to go back into the house through the garage with the door opener, the garage door wouldn’t open.  I could tell from the sounds it was making that my tailgate hadn’t latched after I’d taken out Cora’s birthday gifts to stash them in the basement.  The hatch floated up and was in the way of the garage door.  (I knew, because it happened before – only last time I was inside the house.)

Well, no sweat, because I’d thought to unlock the kitchen door before I went out.  If I’d heard the kids get up, the side door would have been the faster way to get back inside.

Walk around to the kitchen door.

Turn the knob.

Push.

Thunk.

Oops…..

The deadbolt would normally have been unlocked when Bob left, but he went out through the garage that morning.  Therefore, when I unlocked the door, I didn’t think to check the deadbolt.  I was locked out of the house.  And my kids who were sleeping inside were not likely to wake up on their own for about another hour.

The two windows I could semi-easily get in through were locked.  The only open window was the bathroom window, and it’s up pretty high.

Wait for girls to get up or find a way to get in?

Mainly because I didn’t want to just SIT outside (coffee was gone) for up to an hour, I became determined to get inside.

Here is how I (barely) got in through the bathroom window:

BreakIn

The window was still too high above me to muscle my way up with my arms.  (Two attempts were made.)  Fortunately, I’m still a little bit flexible.  I managed to hike my right foot onto the window sill so I could use some leg strength, too.

I ended up kind of hanging sideways, kind of upside down across the window sill, and then had to climb down into the bathroom by putting my hands on the edge of the tub.  I was momentarily completely upside down until I could get a foot down on the toilet seat.  The seat.  Not the lid.  I somehow managed not to fall in.

I’d like to point out that, in addition to the obviously precariousness shown in the image above, I managed all this by also avoiding the clothes line hook that’s sticking out of the house below the window:

Hook

As I was standing on the picnic table/bench combo, I was thinking about two alternative endings:

Responsible Mom’s Determination Gets Her Back into Locked House

and

Mom of Two Nearly Bleeds Out After Opening Femoral Artery on Clothes Line Hook

As if my back flips off the diving boards this summer (after, like, decades of not doing diving board back flips) weren’t bad enough, I’m seriously just a little too reckless sometimes.  That honestly could have ended badly.  (I’m blaming the genes from my dad for this.  It’s something I could totally see him doing.)

But I did get in the house.  And I only ended up with a few small bruises on my right arm and leg.   PLUS, I got in two workouts before 9:00 AM that day.  (Even just moving the table across the yard and back took some work!)

So overall, I guess it was a big win.

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